i'm glad 2 b back, and i think God's timing for everything is just amazing. rmb i wasn't supposed 2 return so early? then i prayed 2 b able 2 come back earlier, n i did, and managed 2 attend rev kameel's revival meeting. it's really good, for it strengthened me 2 face things and gave me the push spiritually.
actually i dun wanna come back n start involving myself fully in church ministry again, afraid i might burn out quickly, not prepared 2 handle so much stuff after a relaxing 5mths =P. but God has reminded me not to fear (Isaiah 35). n i'm remembering i fear only God. learning to trust in Him, asking Him how 2 do things, having faith in His perfect will and perfect time.
no more emotionally unstable mellie. not high one second and down the next; no more screaming my head off. hehe. i've been repenting of my sins, asking God 2 forgive me 4 the hurt i've caused 2 so many youth. n i hope u forgive me too. i was proud, aloof, let my emotional hayrides affect the people ard me whom i love so much. i look back (after the 5mths) and see myself as u would have seen me. i am ashamed of it, but i look to God for forgiveness, and i seek forgiveness from my peers, my juniors, my pastors as well.
these past 5 months have done me much good, as i believe it has done the people ard me good too. separation does have its merits. :) i never want 2 b the person i was 5mths ago.
so hey, if u have some comments 4 me, no matter wat, pls tell me truthfully k? i won't get all defensive n start screaming again =P. i want 2 hear the truth, i need 2 hear the truth; only then will i get better. so don't b too polite with me. but of cos don't overdo the other way too. haha...
i was doing my devotion today, and God sent a timely reminder in 1 Cor. We, as servants of God, plant the seed, water the seed, but God is the one that makes the seed grow. Everything i do now is seed planting and watering, and i look to God for the seed to grow. May He grow within me, too, the seeds of patience and perseverence, of diligence and utmost humility. May the seeds within me grow n flower n bear fruit that i may b a better person every single day. Amen. =)
Labels: God above all
